NuríSpark

This blog was almost given the title

That last one was just in case he ever visits my website. *grin*

I got the job I had been jazzed up about. It took a little under a week for the president to extend me an offer, but now it's official, I've signed paperwork and I'm preparing to start work immediately.

*SUPER huge sigh of relief*

It's a load off of my mind to know that I will no longer be unemployed. I like the ability to

1. pay my bills


2. start paying off my college loans


3. eat Ramen only when I have a craving for it


4. eat out when I feel like it


5. afford cable TV with a DVR and not scream at Comcast for being greeeeeedy bitches.

That's hot. Real hot.
You're reading the LiveJournal of (no official title) Technology Director and Preflight Specialist. Ho-double-T.

Now that I'm settled in my new apartment, I can explain that I am not floating around the house of Kristin & Jim. I'm actually sitting at my desk, waiting patiently for my computer chair to arrive from Ohio -- because I hate sitting in a straight-backed chair... it hurtses.

My new place is about the same that I lived in Spain, but it's definitely a lot more organized ... but with less cupboard space.

Lovely. Lovely.

2006 shall not kick my ass, but rather it shall be a year of successes and new experiences which will make me pleased to be alive, educated and loved. Or so help me g-d.........!

Hey there Bloglings!

It's a hot and humid 3:15 in the morning from my new city-of-choice to live: Chicago.
As of October 3, 2005, I've officially left California and its 95%-ne'er-do-well 2004-2005 life of torment behind me to be closer to friends, family and hopefully a much more successful career. In what, is the question -- but once I'm in it, it'll be updated here for all of my fans to see and they will wave at me and I will shout at them!

Be joyous, bloglings! For a new epoch has come... hopefully a long and successful one with luck, love, money and other pleasant things.

from LiveJournal's Terms of Service:

MEMBER CONDUCT
You agree to NOT use the Service to: Upload, post or otherwise transmit any content that is in LiveJournal.com's opinion to be unlawful, harmful, threatening, abusive, harassing, tortious, defamatory, vulgar, obscene, libelous, invasive to another's privacy (up to, but not excluding any address, email, phone number, or any other contact information with out the written consent of the owner of such information), hateful, or racially, ethnically or otherwise objectionable.

and so when I got this email:

Dear LiveJournal user nurispark,
It has recently come to our attention that your entry located at http://www.livejournal.com/users/nurispark/145609.html is invasive to another's privacy, as it displays his full name without permission. This is in violation of our Terms of Service, to which you agreed when you created your account, and so we require that you remove the name "M**k T******n" from this entry as soon as possible, but by no later than 12:01am on Sunday, August 7th, 2005, to ensure that no further action is taken against your account.

First of all, I didn't even know this was a concern ... like that anyone cared about my usage of a name, initial or whatever until I got that email saying "you've been a bad bad boy, nurispark. Thou shalt be punished."
Had he told me he wanted his named removed BEFORE he went to the Abuse Team (which was SO mountain-from-molehill of him... typical, really. I'm shocked I was surprised by his hehavior...) I would have removed it, no questions asked. But I no likey threats. I guess I just bristle at the thought of someone trying to go over my head to do something so easily accomplished... although knowing him... he probably would have been all "this is urgent."
So I'm like... ok... I'll go edit it out, LiveJournal... no blood shed. And I marched right up to Semagic and edited that file so fast I made the entry wince.

Who am I to violate terms of service?

I also enjoy the aforementioned party's continued "I'm not playing mind games" saga, whereas in this new episode: he never had a problem with me using his name or full name before in my journal... and decided to exact vengance all willy-nilly, and only his precious dogma and his search for *scoffs* enlightment will know.

But then...

I realized how convenient it was that Blogger and LiveJournal are totally seperate entities.
Lovely how that works out, really.
Especially since Blogger's Terms of Service apparently don't touch upon this particular issue (if it does, my quick review of it didn't uncover anything of consequence.) I'm smugly going to let this blog sit for a ripe and bitter old age until I decide to just get over it and possibly delete it because I realize how petty I myself am acting and want to just get over it.

I keep telling myself that this is just a confused person who's just getting my dander up and people love to throw words around to make themselves feel better and superior... I think I'm doing that myself, really... but zippity do-da-day... it's time I let my blogs chew on something bloody all over again... remember that nice little fiasco with the Tarzan project and the fun that ensued?

Chew on this one, bloglings.
I may even entertain the idea of getting movable type on the server. I shall answer to no one.

One year and 24 days ago, the country celebrated its day of independence; and I celebrated my move to California amongst good friends. I had a boyfriend named Mark, but he was... shall we say, mostly crazy (or more aptly, he is most likely bipolar) for many many things. A 1.5 month relationship not-withstanding, it was short but mostly pleasurable.

A year later, I'm a bit more in touch with my thoughts and feelings, finding out who my really good friends are and of course drawing for money and for fun.

My birthday is coming up in late-August, so please remember... I have a paypal account: NURISPARK is my username! The gift of cash is very welcome

I don't know if you knew this, but I moved from my swanky little apartment into a house with my friends Mikel and Ashley. Now I'm in a house with 2 cats, a dog and many many fish

Let's hear it for a month, 1 week, and 1 day in CA! The new apartment is shaping up nicely and I'm starting to REALLY like it here. Only have made a few new friends, but (sigh) like all good things, they take time.

I've started going to a once-a-month Queer Professionals cocktails/dinner in downtown Modesto, called The Birdcage ... it's not extremely original, or make much sense... but y'know... a bunch of queers en mass, intelligent or not, aren't terribly articulate... dunno why.

I'll end this blog with a simple question:

? Who wants to find me a boyfriend ?

Guess what, bloglings? On July 4, 2004, our plucky hero started his new life in MODESTO, CA.

I'm now in my first real apartment since graduation from college. SCARY, eh? Hex yea.

So I finally got a big push to update the site, since I'm waiting to move to California -- and updated the site... there's lots more changes, but I got the main architecture done!

Nur�Spark has moved to Pazol.com! Yee-friggin, haw!

Installed the new Google Toolbar v.2.0Beta.
It's got a blogger feature. Woo hoo.

Verena is in Chicago/MN.

Perhaps I'll catch a glimpse of her -- if I can afford it. (note to self: Must make more money.)

Welcome back blogs! Now to get the accents working again... hmmm. I did re-arrange the comm bar and I think I like it there. ... but now EVERYTHING in the site is dead! what happened?! oh no!

Anyone wanna hire me? I'm really good at what I do!

It's been a while since I've blogged anything spectacular ... but this is about 22 days late:

I've graduated from Miami University of Ohio!

I'm unemployed. I'm bored. I'm living in my parents' basement. I know the proper use of an apostrophe with a plural possessive noun. Yeah, baby!

I've been spending this month enjoying the company of my friends, looking for work, and sleeping like it's going out of style (and annoying my mother in the process.

I also have a new car. I must find a job if I'm to continue to make payments on it so I don't get bad credit. So anyone who wants to donate money ... I have a paypal account.
Make a donation with PayPal - it's fast, free and secure! And even better! I get $!

Nur�Spark will soon be getting a new home. As soon as I find a new server and domain name -- any suggestions for a domain name? Email me!

Finals week is here!
After the first day, one paper turned in! One more exam on Friday, and FREEDOM (for a bit!)
8 days, 6 hours, 44 minutes, and 47 seconds left until I graduate from Western & Miami University!

It's official! My senior thesis has been approved!
It took a long time, but it was turned in (almost) on time. I handed it to Bill and Gail at the Senior Appreciation Dinner.
The next day, I was informed I was approved. This means I can graduate!

Yay!

Spring break is over.

I broke things at Jen's house... I was sad that my butt had caused them. Roopa said they all laughed and didn't care. I love my friends. -- I must add them to my friends' page --- because no one cares but me.

I also need to finish my senior project. It's due April 7th. EEEEEEP!

65 days, 14 hours, 18 minutes, and 12 seconds left until I graduate from Western & Miami University.

NEWS! I've turned in my first chapter (1 of 2)'s rough draft of my Senior Thesis Cultural Aspects of Color & Design.

I stopped by Mike Barolsky and Brad Nudell's respective houses not just to see my old kid friends but to talk to their parents... just to get some perspective. Dr. Barolsky and Mrs. Nudell really gave me a lot to think about. I wonder what I'll do with the information I've gotten from them. Was disappointed that Brad was sleeping when I came over... but I totally empathize... he'd just driven up from FL -- and I don't think he had someone in the car with him. SAD. Poor Brad. That was bad. Egad! I'm almost a college grad!

I think Jody Nudell is right -- it's better to just go to a university and get my Masters/teaching certificate and work while I'm in town... I'm just not sure I like the idea of living in Youngstown.

I've gotten a reply from Bill about my meeting with him and Nancy for my review of my rough draft. Sunday at 4pm is the proposed time! Which means Alison and I get to spend Saturday baking nummy treats and watching Chicago! the movie. Ahhh. Visual lovinz with my Karen. Is there anything sweeter? I wouldn't know... because I made cr�me br�l�e last night.... MMM mmm nummy. Mom and dad were thrilled. I love impressing my parents.

Tra la la... happy new year, bloglings! 2003 should be an... interesting year.

Seriously! I just wanna friggn graduate! Is that so hard? No.

I've been thinking a lot about my hands lately. If I had Parkinson's disease, and that meant I couldn't draw anymore... what would I do with my life? I don't think I could speak very well either... my grampa Sam had it... and he was hard to understand sometimes. Guess that means Spanish is out. I want food. Mmmm. Pickles!

I go home in a few days and I'll be all stressified! Wee! Then again, I'll see Lucila and Tom and Yas and Elizzy. I'll have fun. Maybe just a bit. But I'll have lots of work to do and Thanksgiving and Hanukkah too! Oh my!

3 day weekends are fun.

So was Austin Powers 3... but it wasn't so good that I felt that I needed to see it in a theater... thanks WinMX! You're great!

my blogs aren't erased. they're just hiding... I'm not sure why.
I've backed them up on my HD, but I don't know what I'll do with them
I am considering a 'Blogs Revisited' page. Thoughts?

I think what sucks the most isn't just my classes -- the profs, for the most part, are nice people. What annoys me is that from like, April to September, all my blogs were erased. EVIL! I want them back.

How much do I love Verena?! My CD of all my photos arrived today. she sent it to me all the way from Germany. I hope she gets lots of good things! Food, sex, movies, chocolate, whatever her lil German heart yearns for! You got it, tomato!

Much love from Nur� and his blogs to Vereney.

Did I forget to mention I'm in the third week of classes in Oxford? Yea. Back at good ol' MU.

Working at MCIS, taking 400 level senior classes and in my lovely single.

So busy, lots of the time, but it's worth saying that I'm enjoying being busy and speaking Spanish and English fluently. It rocks.

Sorta lonely though. *sigh*

For many of you this'll be mad obvious:
I took the qFiles section 'offline' in a matter of sorts. It's actually still there. But my dad and I felt it wasn't very professional and I didn't want people going in there. If you insist on viewing images in that section and want the website, email me.

PHOTOS, WEBCAM, and ART sections were adjusted.

Shoutout goes to Verena and Jens for helping with photos.

I applied for a job as a graphic designer at MCIS's graphic design dept. I hope I get it.
I got into IMS 440. I have to decide if I want to do a project for Proctor & Gamble, the city of Cincinnati, or the 'Arts at Miami' site.
I needed to decide by... oh... this morning. DAMMIT.

Also hoping to get the CLA position in my hall. I hope if I get it, I don't have to move. I really like my room. Tee hee. I want everything. On a silver platter. Pretty!

temporary errors with Blogger.com's server have forced me to change (like I said) temporarily my template. Hopefully, they'll fix it and I can restore my old template. Until then: here's some cranberry lovinz.

It's been a while since I've updated or even Blogged in a while.
If blogs were pets, they'd all be stinky carcasses. It's just sad but true.
Since I've been home, I've been through a horrible tragedy of losing ALL of my non-posted artwork, mp3z, etc. Very little was backed up. My hard drive just blew out. It was gayly tragic. Jack and Karen couldn't have made it any more tragic if they'd tried.

So here's the updates for my non-LiveJournal readers:
I've been working freelance installing networks and upgrading computers while I've been in town.
Cs and I talk when we can on MY NEW CELL PHONE. It's funky-fresh and happy.
I'm off to Chicago to visit mis hermanos -- while in the neighborhood, I'll be seeing my pals Bob and Stacie in Wisconsin. I'll be sleeping at Bob's.
I move back to MU (weeeeee!) on August 13. The Momz is gonna help me move. Maybe my friend Tom will come down to help -- since mom cannot move heavy things ("I'll break a nail!")
Been hanging out with Tom and Elizzy lots... Tom's a livejournal user now. Hee hee hee. Get 'em!
Classes start August 20 -- SENIOR YEAR! WOOO!

Anyone who I burned a CD of my Spain photos, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE burn a copy and send it to me! I lost a YEAR'S WORTH of photos in that crash. Email me for my address(es).

Not sure what's up with my template still acting dumb as a cookie. I'll fix it once I move down to Oxford.

Speaking of cookies, I've baked a batch AND brownies. Mmmm. It feels great to bake again.

ALSO: Webcam will be up again once I move. I'm not in the mood to fuss with it until I'm settled in Otown.

That's all for now, lovlies.

OH!!! NO! It's not. I read the BEST comic strip (better than X-Men?) Yes... better than X-Men... *gasp!* It's called BmB and it totally knocked me for a loop. I felt a strong sense of myself in it! Strange feeling.

Also: I am NOT an animal-hater by any sense of the imagination. I have a wonderful dog and an angel for a cat, but my parents' new puppy is out of control and they REFUSE to train him nor take responsibility for him. He's since ruined my favorite MU hat AND my expensive Bass shoes that lasted Spain and almost destroyed my precious Spain flag. I've threatened to kill him. Strangely, my mother didn't like that.... go fig!

Quick update:
1. my computer's going through some technoheadaches. Don't be alarmed if no updates happen for a while.
2. after so many people complained, I'll explain my joke: In the PHOTOS SECTION there are no photos posted. This will be changed once my new hard drive arrives. It was a joke, though. The idea was that I said 'here's photos of me and Spain' and there was a rollover graphic of me (drawn) and of Spain (the flag).

I am now officially home at my parents.

My computer is having some jetlag--- or something.

I shall take it into the shop tomorrow as I have plans for her. Muahaha? Yes.

Anyone wondering what's to become of the counter now that I'm home... it'll be set for my impending graduation in May 2003 (so I think!)

Hee Hee.
Once Nebari's online, I'll get this party started!

Also: Check out the song by Las Ketchup, Asereje and also A Dios Le Pido by Los Juanes -- as they are my official Spanish 'songs of the summer'
Let's make them US hits! Wee!

1. been really busy with getting ready to go and lots of foreigners coming who don't speak much / any English..
2. As you can see by my lil timer, as of this post, I leave in <5 days. Lots of packing. Woo Ohio!
3. Paper. It's getting done... finally.
4. Anyone wanna pack for me? Wee!
5. Pray for me and my computer -- that we make it to my parents home and both have very long lives! Yay life for me an Nebari.
6. I made a darn yummy pasta sauce. Go me!
7. I've decided Nur�Spark Blogs as fun -- and free, but until LiveJournal sucks, I'll be posting most of my ideas/thoughts etc there. Blogs = more site updates..
and 8. along those lines... I'm working on a new splash screen and once back in the US... I'll be FLASHING the site. AREN'T YOU EXCITED?!

That's it! I'm posting a letter to the support staff. My updates to the template aren't taking effect! you'll hear from me once this is all fixed!

I think the blogs harte me. I just posted AND updated the blog template and NO changes were saved.

What's UP!?

*sigh*
Leah, Chris, and now...
Wade.

Gone.

*sniff*
I miss them all.

Zuza (brit gal) is here for a week in RESA. She's cool. We chilled a bit. She'll be hanging if she can when she can.
We shall be expecting Aussies, South Dakotans, et al. around June 30 -- as M� tells it, they don't speak much Spanish. If Zuza is any indication, it's true. But then, she lives in Portuguese, not Spain. So it's not like it's her problem. She's cool just the way she is.

I'm sad and a bit lonely. ;( I'll get over it.

had lunch with MC and Stefan. Cr�pes are fun. :)

made wade's gift... sleepy.
made virtually no plans to see him tomorrow (unless 11am phone calls count)
lunch with Marie-Cristine and Stefan tomorrow.
I miss them. they give good hugs.

wade's giving me more food! woo!

spent the morning sleeping. Around 2pm, I think I woke up...checked mail, and Jos� Luis called. Another BBQ! �Qu� suerte! Wade came too, and I had rabbit for the first time. I thought it was chicken -- but the bones were smaller and more delicate. It's good without BBQ sauce.

-----[ pause ]-----
Just got back from taking a walk with Gabi, St. Luss and Sheila. Took photos, got runny noses.

My tummy hurts from eating such yummy Spanish food. I don't want to eat for a few more hours. Tee hee.
Slightly bored. Need to start writing my final about Contact. The notes I took are just sitting in my backpack.

Nothing alltogether faboo happened today. I watched 2 hours of Embrujadas and was satisfied. I wish Prue were back. I'm not a fan of Paige. Rose McGowan is a cool chick, but I'm just not happy with the character. *sigh*

I suppose I'm not the only one who hates Paige's outfits either... hee hee hee.

I talked to Leah online today. She's still got jetlag. I know my mom won't tolerate much of it from me when I get home.
St. Luss and I measureed my Gateway box to make sure it followed USAir standards. It follows it. The box is 59 cubic inches, and USAir said it could only be 70. So I'm well within my limits. And I don't think my computer will weigh more than 70 or 80 lbs (the max is 100 lbs.) So maybe things will be okay. Maybe when I get home, my computer will stay in one piece. Maybe I'm kidding myself and I'll have a piece of scrap metal when I get home. ;-P

Maybe I'll stop worrying.

Nick and Bego�ia left... we had a nice dinner for Wade:
Hamburgers, tortilla espa�ola (made by Laura y Lucilia), my new Gouda cheese mashed potatoes, salad, and steamed-stirfried veggies... Nick brought pineapple upsidedown cake. It was a good night.

I'm pooped!

Time for sleep.

It seems that the smarter a person is, the more they hate themselves. It's like the more brain power we have, the more likely it is wasted on self-loathing. For a long time, whenever I looked at anyone, I would compare how much thinner they were than me. It was like I couldn't remove the scales from my eyes. If they were thinner, they were automatically better, smarter, hotter, happier, more whatever than me. It was such a waste of time, because I couldn't really see anyone or really know anyone, and it just made me really lonely.
We cannot really compare ourselves to others, because we are all different. We are all unique, and because of that we are all beautiful. To me, the gym body and fashionable clothes don't make the man. It is a hot mind and a conscience that turn my head. Advertising, magazines, movies, etc. all tell us that one ideal is attractive, and if you are in your right mind you should want that or want to be that. When you realize all of that is a big lie designed to make you buy more products to assuage your insecurity, then life becomes a lot easier.
There are a lot of smart queer guys out there who want nothing more than to meet someone like me: an intelligent, soulful individual with great taste and a frustration with the lack of queer images out there with which I can relate.

-- Me, channeling Margaret Cho

Audiogalaxy is now removed from my computer. BAD. I cannot believe they were all 'buy AG gold' and then block EVERYTHING. I'm glad *I* didn't buy it. Sweeter bought 2 months, I think she only got 1.5 out of it before AG became a slave to the man. You know ... the man? Yea.
I'm home in like 2 weeks. I think I can live off of my mp3z and CDs. Then, once I get home, I can use dad's connection to get WinMX and Kazaa. Then the real fun starts (muahaha.)

I laughed exceptionally hard at this:

Villains fear me. Heroes envy me. Nur� is... The Purple Crusader

I thought I could split it up... it's hard.
I'm trying to devote my energies between Blogs and LiveJournals.
It's friggin hard. Especially since I actually get FEEDBACK in my LJ and nothing really in my Blogs -- unless you count Heath... I don't. (*grins*)
I'm thirsty.
didn't eat dinner.
I'm lazy
tired too.
Shana visited my site.
I love Shana.
Go Shana!
I miss Shana.
Werk Shana!
Yay Shana!
I hear she has a dyke haircut. Shana's a mommy with a boyfriend. I find this amusing.
I say: Hooray for new lesbo-action figure Shana. Comes with new accessories: short hair, flannel shirt, toolbox.

Bob's not amused, I'm told. Neither are her kids. Poor Bob and kids. DEAL.
She'll send me a photo soon. :)
Love you mommacat! This is a shoutout blog to you!

I miss Shana. She doesn't talk much on AIM. I can't wait to see her when I get back to Otown.. to bad she doesn't work at MCIS anymore :(
Meanwhile, today I had lunch at M�'s house... her lil brother is so sweet. He always asks when I'm coming over for lunch again. He wasn't there today. Apparently, according to his family, he's going to disappointed that he missed me. It's nice to be loved.

I called my mom. She's doing okay. I miss her more than I'm supposed to. I'm supposed to be all tough and adult (almost 22 now!) and all I wanna do is have her make me dinner and watch a movie with me. I haven't seen her in a year. She's gonna make me an appointment with Dr. Ko (I went to high school with Tim and Jim, his sons) about my allergies when I get home.

I don't want to cook. I have to cook. I don't want to cook. I have to :(

Pooooo.
Wade leaves soon. We had a nice time last night.
I had my talks individually with him, Leah, Verena, and Chris ... all that's left now is Mr. Nick.

I just want this all to be over. I don't like conflict. I don't deal well with it.

I want a long phone call with Yas or Tom or Cesar. I wanna vent. LOTS. For no reason.

:)
Mmm. My pasta primavera sucks compared to Leah's. I'm gonna have an insulin attack.

Because I adore Cesar and Shana lots:

Sorry things are so hectic! I have been running around a lot trying to get stuff done. LiveJournal works now. I'm hoping to make the balance work like this:
Most posts stay in Blogs (especially siteupdates.) More personal and evil posts go to LJ. Which works for me.

If you want to read a LiveJournal entry, you'll have to email me and I'll add you to my list. There's a purpose for this.

Leah and Chris are gone. Wade leaves Sunday. Nick's here until July. Verena too. Don't know about Stefan and Marie-Cristine. They stopped by my room with a note. I was at lunch.

Other than fun. I'm just updating small stuff, like adding more friends (yes, I know I have to add Jens...)
I really have no other major updates besides that of FRIENDS UPDATE and LiVEJOURNAL UPDATE.

Wanna see more stuff? Lemme know.

I emailed the guy who created the PosterChild program that allows you crazy bloglings to comment on my blogs. He's working to create my guestbook. You can see a sample by using the menu on the left.

Tonight and for the rest of my time in Spain, I shall eat very well, what with all the food Leah has left me! Muahaha.

My Senshi Colors Are: Purple: Gentle, Easy to Please, Relaxed Brown: Practical, Intelligent, Stable Get Your Senshi Colors At SailorOrion.com

I think I'm supposed to go to the city... don't know when/how .. odd.

I'll edit this blog later.

LiveJournal is made... gotta do stuff to it.

Let me explain something to you all...

I love my computer. I'm also a diehard PC fan for (mostly) one simple reason: all the software I need, someone can give it to me -- I would probably not be a graphic design student if I had to buy all the software I need. I know that's saying something bad... but it's not easy to be a student of graphic design with a computer... first there's the computer -- that's like 1,000-2,000$US -- and that's not including monitor and printer... then there's peripherals: Monitor, Printer, graphics tablet, USB hub, Zip drive, Digital Camera (or Digital Video Camera), scanner, video capture card -- this list is rediculous. All that is well over 3,000$US! And I thanks to many loving people I have most of it.
Then you tack on buying major software: Microsoft Office (with Publisher -- or I'll have to get...), Adobe Pagemaker, Photoshop 7, Illustrator, Steamline, Premiere, Acrobat (not the reader, the program that actually MAKES PDFs); Corel Bryce; Creative Labs Poser; Macromedia DreamWeaver, Flash, FreeHand; Quark xPress; Jasc PaintShop -- and don't forget that most drawing software also needs plug-in filters which cost sometimes like 40$US! Each piece of software is about 500-700+$US. How fair yet uncontrollably really uncool-unfair! And that's JUST for software for school/drawing!

On a PC, it's just much more common (I'm not sure why) for there to be 'pirated' or cracked software. There just is. I don't happen to have a Mac or go surfing around for it... but I'm thinkin it's much harder for a Mac to be cracked-- which is really good...but sad as you're seeing from a student's perspective. So after I have all that software, I'm upto about 10, maybe 20 thousand dollars!!! Think about other programs I might want -- like telnetting, privacy software (anti-spam, firewall, anti-virus), Spanish language software, decompression software (for zips, rars, aces -- those all want money too!) There's more than just what comes with the standard system...

So there I have it. A PC with mostly all the trimmings. I spent somewhere around 1,500$US on JUST my tower (as I own my own monitor and I had a zip drive, printer, camera, and scanner.) And my career, my choice, tells me, I need to spend more money -- me, a student -- and buy (even at university discounted prices, are still astronomical) all that software I listed on top of everything else. UNREAL! So where is all this money going to come from? Because I worked 2 jobs at my uni last year just to pay for gas for my car (you know, so I can go to CLASS and go HOME.)

And they (you know ... 'they') say 'well, you already have a few scholarships and government grants and loans just to pay for tuition! We cannot give you any more! There are other students who need money too, you know." And my poor parents are looking at me, saying 'it's hard just paying for ourselves and you -- don't look to us for financial assistance.' Because I'm not from a rich family. And I don't act like it. I think lots of (if not the world) people think I come from a rich family -- I don't!

So now, I'm looking at getting a new computer (maybe) especially since I might be able to sell this one in Spain... which led me to looking around and I thought... hey, I do like the new Mac OsX .. and Miami (my Uni) has a deal with Apple, maybe (heh -- why did I think it would be something extra-ordinarily helpful??) I should look into getting a Mac (I really like the cute new generation 3 iMacs, but they don't have all I need.)

So browsed and made a custom Mac -- because, even I need some fun. I think the only things I put in that were 'for fun' were the iPod and instead of getting dull speakers, I got bass speakers so I could use my 'new' computer as a TV (since I won't be able to afford a TV with a new computer!)

Here's the breakdown

Power Mac G4	$4,085.00
includes:	Keyboard 1GHz - DP PowerPC G4 NVIDIA GeForce4 Titanium 2x80GB Ultra ATA drive 1.5GB SDRAM - 3 DIMMs Accessory kit AirPort Card Mac OS 56K internal modem Zip 250 Drive Apple SuperDrive (DVD-R/CD-RW) Ultra SCSI PCI card & cable adapter
2 Apple Studio Displays (17" flat panels)	$1,858.00
APP for Power Mac	$237.00
SmartDisk FireFly 5GB FireWire Hard Drive	FREE!  (oh joy!  something I didn't even need!)
HP Deskjet 990cM Inkjet Printer	$294.00
AirPort Base Station (which prints on both sides of the paper -- I can save money on paper!  I almost got the other printer which had a card reader for my digital camera)	$281.00
Retrospect Express 5 (backup software)	$49.95
Adobe Photoshop 7	$599.95
Adobe Illustrator 10	$399.95
Norton AntiVirus 8	$59.95
Microsoft Office v.X for Mac ('academic version'?)	$199.95
Roxio Toast with Jam (to burn CDs)	$199.95
Virtual PC 5.0 (Windows 2k -- so I can still use my old PC software)	$219.95
and for fun (since I'm spending thousands of dollars...)
iPod	$469.00
Apple iPod Power Adapter (so I don't have buy batteries!)	$45.00
Harman Kardon SoundSticks (they're the speakers)	$199.00
Promotion Savings Discount (I'm not sure this is from MU -- just Apple trying to be nice)	-$200.00
TOTAL (not incl.tax *groan*)	$8,997.65

I'm done. I just want to scream and cry and sleep and eat until I just die of heartfailure from bacon or something bad-for-me -- because it's just too depressing being a poor student with dreams. *sigh*

'So I was constantly asking myself,
'Am I gay?
Am I straight?'
And then I realized:
I'm just a slut

...

Where's my parade?"
Thank all that is good that there's Margaret Cho to make me laugh!